just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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