they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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