East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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