Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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