Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Boobs are out for the taking
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
