ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
