she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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