Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He did a backflip because drugs
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
