I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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