Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
