I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
