Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If I die, sorry about rent.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize