who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
