You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i think i have two assholes
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
