you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
