These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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