i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
