I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
