I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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