he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
