youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
