I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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