So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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