Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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