Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
