last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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