Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
