End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
