i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You ate ashes out of my bong
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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