ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
my liver is dry heaving
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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