In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
