May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
