Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize