I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
