i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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