We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
