So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
