Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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