Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
