your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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