whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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