there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
