my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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