did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
