in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize