why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
