So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
