No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
from now on my penis is your penis
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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