Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
