so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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