More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
