if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
