i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
