At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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