i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
