I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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