Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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