did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
