In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's blow job season.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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