i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize