You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
