so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
