meet me or not, i'm out of control
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
