Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
