I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
